With American ladies of the second class

With American ladies of the second class, there is a great proneness to construe the commonest expressions and words into having indelicate meanings — to realize, indeed, the sailor’s axiom of being “nasty nice,” or virtually to embody Swift’s biting truism, that “the nicest people have the nastiest ideas.” The truth is, that, in America, female delicacy has become morbid, and has gone beyond that wholesome propriety of feeling, which distinguishes between an intended grossness, and a word which is fully understood to have no other meaning than that which it expresses. Extreme delicacy borders closely on indelicacy, and a gentleman, especially an Englishman, is sometimes compelled to rack his brains in. order to discover how that which he has said can be so distorted from its true meaning; and the discovery, when made, however it may amuse him at its ingenuity, rarely elevates the lady in his opinion, but rather astonishes him at the grossness of sentiment which it implies, and which must have existed in her mind before she was  gauche enough to let it appear. If anything really equivocal be said, the lady should be the last to let it be known that she understands it.

May be noticed a ludicrously vulgar refinement of speech

As a sequence to this, may be noticed a ludicrously vulgar refinement of speech, common to pseudo elegant, namely, the use of synonyms so awfully select, as might well astound even a Crabbe. We heard of one young man in America, who, desiring some “stuffing” with his turkey, asked for “some of the insertion” !!! Which was exquisite refinement, with a vengeance. The fact is, that the old joke of “decapitating the luminaries,” for snuffing the candles, is continually and seriously being realized in America. Really well-educated people, conscious that their acquirements cannot be disputed, are infinitely more careless in their expressions, than those less favored ; whilst the elevated (not inflated) style, occasionally necessary in literature, would be considered, by gentlemen, vulgarly pedantic in ordinary society. The educated man can afford to descend, whilst the more refined a person of doubtful position may be, the greater is the suspicion of its being genuine. Young men should avoid using avowedly vulgar expressions, but be equally careful not to stick their “parts of speech” on stilts so high, as to prevent their descending again to the simplicity of social conversation. In Boston, poor Fanny Kemble became the subject of much animadversion, for using the word “dawdling,” which simply implies “laziness,” and nothing else. The acquirements of one so gifted, and superior in intellect to the average of her sex, should have been sufficient to shield her from such absurd and underbred criticism.

Snuff

As snuff-laking is merely an idle, dirty habit, practiced by stupid people in the unal ailing endeavor to clear their stolid intellect, and is not a custom particularly offensive to their neighbors, it may be left to each individual taste as to whether it be continued or not. An “ Elegant 55 cannot take much snuff without decidedly “ losing caste.’

“ Doctor, 55 said an old gentleman, who was an inveterate snuff-taker, to a physician, “ is it true that snuff destroys the olfactory nerves, clogs, and otherwise injures the brain ?”

“It cannot be true, 55 was the caustic reply, “since those who have any brains never take snuff at all”

Fashion

BUT few things betray greater imbecility of mind than a servile imitation of the extrava- gancefe of any fashionable monster; A man possessed of the delicate and proper feelings of a gentleman would deem himself degraded by copying another, even to the curling of a whisker, or the tie of a cravat; as, by so doing, he could only show the world of how little importance he felt himself, and the very poor opinion he entertained of his own taste.

Fashion and gentility are very distinct thing — for which reason, people, really of the highest rank, are too proud to become martyrs to any prevailing mode; and the man of true taste will limit his compliance with the caprices of fashion to not appearing equally conspicuous for its utter neglect.

Dress

It is bad taste to dress in the extreme of fashion; and, in general, those only do so who have no other claim to distinction, — leave it, in these times, to shop men and pickpockets. There are certain occasion!, however, when you may dress as gaily as you please, observing the maxim of the ancient poet, to be “ great on great occasions.” Men often think, when they wear a fashionably-cut coat, an embroidered waistcoat, with a profusion of chains and other trinkets, that they are well dressed, entirely overlooking the less obtrusive, but more certain, marks of a refined taste.

We grand j points are — well-made shoes, clean glow hite pocket handkerchief, and, above all, easy and grace full deportment.

Overdressing themselves, is a very serious evil in the young men of America, who usually look as if they had come out of a bandbox. It should not be overlooked, that those people who over study their dress, are conscious of their inferiority, and hope by such means to raise themselves in the public estimation.

Manners of Us

Hello all today I like to publish an old book which is about the manners of human. What we should do and what we shouldn’t. İt is older than a century so it is a kind of fun.

Etiquette is the barrier which society draws around itself as a protection against offences the “law ” cannot touch ; it is a shield against the intrusion of the impertinent, the improper, and the vulgar, — a guard against those obtuse persons who, having neither talent nor delicacy, would be continually thrusting themselves into the society of men to whom their presence might (from the difference of feeling and habit) ‘ be offensive, and even insupportable.

 Many unthinking persons consider the observance of etiquette to be nonsensical and unfriendly, as consisting of unmeaning forms, practiced only by the silly and the idle—an opinion which arises from their not having reflected on the reasons that have led to the establishment ‘of certain rules indispensable to the well-being of society, and without which, indeed, it would inevitably fall to pieces, and be destroyed.

Misconstruction

Much misconstruction and unpleasant feeling arises, especially in country towns, from not knowing what is “expected” or’ necessary to be done, on certain occasions, resulting” sometimes from the prevalence of local customs, with which the world in general are not supposed to be acquainted.

 Besides, in a mercantile country like England, people are continually rising m the world. Shopkeepers become merchants, and mechanics manufacturers; with the possession of wealth they acquire a taste lord the luxuries of life, expensive furniture, gorgeous plate, and also numberless superfluities, with the use of which they are only imperfectly acquainted. But although their capacities for enjoyment increase, it rarely happens that the polish of their manners keeps pace with the rapidity of their advancement; hence such persons are often painfully reminded that wealth alone is insufficient to protect them from the mortifications which a limited acquaintance with society entails upon the ambitious. Pride often deters people from seeking the advice of the experienced, when the opportunity of receiving it is presented. It is to be hoped that the following remarks will furnish a guide through the intricacies of con. National usage, without risk to the sensitive, or the humiliation of publicly proclaiming the deficiencies of an imperfect education.

In all cases, the observances of the Metropolis (as the seat of refinement) should be received as the standard of good-breeding.

Never introduce

Never “introduce” people to each other without a previous understanding that it will be agreeable to both.

There are many reasons why people ought never to be introduced to the acquaintance of each other, without the consent of each party previously obtained. A man may suit the taste, and be agreeable enough to one, without being equally so to the rest of his friends; nay, as it often happens, he may be decidedly unpleasing: a stupid person may be delighted with the society of a man of learning or talent, to whom, in return, such an acquaintance may prove an annoyance and a clog, as one incapable of offering an interchange of thought, or an idea worth listening to.

It is also so interesting to visit Bulgaria and discover the Bulgarian coast. It will take you a differet world. Come and be our guest in my country Bulgaria.